Spice up your life

When the Spice Girls told us to spice up our lives, they kinda had a point. Its a shame not everyone took this advice on board. So for those who need a helping hand I've kindly laid out some pointers:

You know your life needs spicing up when…

Life is so spicy it would put my mothers cooking to shame.

Sandy Dee is regarded as the theme tune to your life.

You don’t have a theme tune as your life is always moving with the times. ‘Bump n Grind’ one day and ‘Soul Sister’ the next.
Although you have been stuck on Christina Aguilera’s ‘Dirty’ for the last few years.

The last time you went to a party it was pin the tale on the donkey, and pass the parcel was the highlight of the day.

What LAST time?? Life is one constant parteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
You’re turning down so many invites that even the Beckham’s are ringing you for your ‘secret’

You’ve watch every episode of ‘Casualty’ on a Saturday night.

Casualty was where you ended up when you fell flat on your face blind drunk last Saturday.

The 'Karma Sutra' is merely a dream.

‘Hell! Where’s the publishing deal, I’ll write the sequel.’

You iron you pyjamas.

Why? You won’t be in them for long.

The vast majority of your underwear is grey and the size of Buckinghamshire.

What you have in your wardrobe would be considered too risqué even for Ann Summers.

Looking at your wardrobe…Yep, Gok would have to admit defeat.
(and this is the guy who managed to do something with Alan Carr)

You are regarded as Kate Moss’ style icon.

You’re stuck house-sitting as your parents shoot off to Rio on a romantic break during carnival season.

Your parents kindly suggest a nice little break in The Priory to recover. Its not just celebrities who suffer from sheer exhaustion due to a hectic lifestyle.

It is common consensus that ‘Ugly Betty’ is a biography of your life.

Even Samantha from ‘Sex and the City’ knows when to calm it.

You spend every spare evening you have sorting out and indexing the photos you took of your cousin’s wedding.

Facebook has had to remove the vast majority of photos of you posted by friends as they break every moral and decency code.

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The above suggestions bring me to a serious point.

As you will have noticed there has been a bit of a gap since my last post.
Now, being a young single gal-about-town, you'd think my life would be a flurry of activity in a Tara Palmer-Tomkinson kind of way.
I wish I could say that the gap can be put down to my life being a whirlwind of one spicy unforgettable moment after another.
How wonderful if I was blogging to say that Rupert Penry Jones had finally come to his senses and realised I am the love of his life; and I’ve spent two glorious weeks with Ru (as I would call him) being romanced on some yacht in the Mediterranean, loaned to him by a Shipping Magnet friend.
But alas no! I have no spicy tales to tell.
Truth is life’s been a tad tough. Someone close has fallen quite ill, and the prognosis doesn’t look good at this stage – but here’s hoping.
For a while things may be a touch higgledy piggledy. So with that, the blog is now going fortnightly for a short while.
No doubt I’ll soon be back causing sheer havoc.
See you in two weeks peeps.

xx